Rich means having great value, worth or material wealth, or money, or containing ingredients to give something a heavy, deep flavor. (adjective)
....So very true
In every sense of the word, the boy is Rich. Vibrant and endearing in the most understated and humble ways. It was inevitable that the experience of the last few days would have seeped into my soul, indeed it did, with earth shattering results. The fear is that a door has now opened which may never be shut again..... yet the fear is also the pleasure in knowing that this is just the beginning. It would be a fearful untruth to state that this new beginning was one of solitude, as I know that my deepest hope is to have a companion. This is not related to lust or sexuality, this is related to something I wasn't ever aware of before. It's the cliche; the one seen on second rate Rom-Com's where the eyes meet across a table and life is perfect. I have no rose tinted spectacles but my eyes are open wide and I truly do not want, nor am I able to shut them.
The day has been a very muted and dank experience despite the fire inside my head. Presumably, the echoes of the hypnosis have to seep their way out somehow in order for life to regain normality. Sobbing at people in supermarkets is not often a part of my everyday life, yet on this day I allowed it to happen without apology. It feels natural and so very necessary to endure the roller coaster of emotion imposed upon me and so why should I fight it? Perhaps the most unwelcome side effect has been the lack of recognition of those things belonging to me such as my home and my children. It's almost as if time has stood still for a while and the only things which make sense are those things related to the experience.
Gradually, in dishevelled and sporadic ways, life is drifting back in. While the waves of sadness begin to roll away I am left with an urge to hang onto them for fear that I may forget something important. But....of course.... I won't! Who can forget the elation at having fulfilled a life ambition and stumbled across the most wonderful people on the journey? Each and every one has left their imprint on my heart.
I am a very lucky soul. A best friend held my hand through all of this, an inspirational man allowed me to share in this and a beautiful man will, with further luck, allow me to develop this in more wonderful ways. My head will touch the pillow tonight with a smile.....sweet dreams! <3
No comments:
Post a Comment